Saturday, June 10, 2006
Midwest love affair
I bend when I am bored
Late night liquor blue
Will lead me to the floor.
Can we fake it?
Can we make believe?
I'm so full of love
It deeply sickens me.
But all I could do was close my eyes
And cross my arms and hope to die
Cause you don't fucking listen
When I'm around.
The least you could do is take it back
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks
Cause I can't fucking stand it.
When You're Around.
Midwest aftermath, the rumors start to rise
Did I truly do the things that you've described?
They must hate me, every single one
It just sickens them, what I consider fun.
But all I could do was close my eyes
And cross my arms and hope to die
Cause you don't fucking listen
When I'm around.
The least you could do is take it back
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks,
Cause I can't fucking stand it.
When You're Around.
But all I could do was close my eyes
And cross my arms and hope to die
Cause you don't fucking listen
When I'm around.
The least you could do is take it back
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks
Cause I can't fucking stand it.
When You're Around.
No I can't fucking stand it, when you're around.
No I can't fucking stand it, when you're around
this one is for you bitch.
sorry ppl jus had to come out to say this.
signing off 9:26 AM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
this shall be my last entry on this blog.
Its for Veron, u know its for you.
I promised myself after this, u shall be gone
My words are my promise.
Ever since the melt down
Life hasnt be easy for me
I m sure that it is the same for you
But it jus sucks to know that you hate me
i know it sounds whiny but thats jus the way to say it
I spent almost two years of my life with you
Every single of those two fuckin years with me
Yet now, you hate me
I m not blaming you for the break up
I know you and ur all group of family and friends hate me
I don blame you. To some extent i am to blame.
But we share the blame equally.
After those many months, i gave up.
Even thou i did
You jus cannot except the fact that we can still be friends
With our knowlegde of each other even best friends
But instead of doing that
I get critics, blames, scoldings and many more from you and your friends
Its not easy
But we should get use to not havin each other anymore
In my case its easier with both sufis around
For you maybe its not that easy
But that does not give u the right to say things that you did about me
Live, learn and let go
You ve always been the stronger and smarter one
I m sure there is someone out there that is better
I m sure i m gonna get a backlash from you for this entry
but jus take this in to reflect
this is my most honest entry yet
signing off 6:30 AM
Monday, May 08, 2006
please understand, this is not goodbye this is i cant stand you.
signing off 7:07 AM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
i had a deep conversation with a long lost mentor late last night. I grew up beside this guy and i ve learnt alot from him. We lost contact when we suddenly when lost after a huge huge heart breakin incident. Last night was the first time i d seen him in about a year. Honestly that one yea has changed this guy from a hot headed mutha fucker to a matured son of a gun(yes son of a gun).
He gave me another angle to look at things after last night. He told me what i had to do and what i should not. He also taught me this word called "DRIVE" and how his life has been revolving around it eversince the incident.
"Man, you can accomplish anything in this world, anything. If u have the will to want it so badly. U got to wanna it badly" he said.
This coming from a guy that has seen failures in front of his eyes. He has had death knocking his door for countless time and he has seen agony in the eyes of the dead.
His words are stuck in my head. Its like he struck a switch in me that has been off ever since i can remember. Just thinkin of it fires me.
Desire. Desire is the issue here in this entry.Do i wan it? do i wan it badly? do i wanna it so badly that i would do more work, sweat more sweat, cry more tears and bleed more blood to jus get my hand on it?
Frankly, i am still soul searching for the answer. Part of me wants it, part of me feel that i cannot push myself no more.
Questions, questions and more questions.
signing off 9:59 AM
Friday, May 05, 2006
they say that the end has no end.
But i am jus human.
I can only take so little.
Almighty help me pls.
Things have gone a full circle.
But it looks like we have always been stuck at the spot.
It was a long journey that did not even started.
I wont hate you for this.
But this heart will.
Knowin u cant move on.
About something that had always stood still.
signing off 3:27 AM
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
the word for this entry is ''ELECTION"
everyone seems to be talking abou it. The young, the elderly, the rich, the poor and the others. Everybody has elections in thayeir mind. My take on it, i don really give a hoot because i cant vote yet.
The issue here is people shootin their mouths off. Some donno shit and can talk about how this party is doing this and how that party is doing that. My advice, go to a rally, listen, read the papers than make ur judgement before shoot ur arses off at a coffee shop or inside a bus(where a little guy like me happened to be listening).
Another issue that has got me thinking about the Elections is that of CHOICES. Sure there are alot of choices for the elections. SDA and SDP jus to name a few. But has the dominance of the PAP taken over our school of thoughts. Have they done too well until there is no reason for us not to vote for them? i guess to an extent it is true. But it isnt all that bad, after all the PAP is the backbone in the success story of our little island. But will this ruling and dominationg party hinder the path of others who have potential but are in other partys? that i wonder.
signing off 7:02 AM
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
I AM GIVING UP
signing off 1:46 AM
